Lead #1
An earthquake of magnitude 2.2 occurred at 8:33 am this morning in Santa Clara County, CA. The US Geological Survey claims that no damage or injuries have been reported.
Lead #2
Gusty winds and heavy rain caused several trees to collapse onto Highway 9 last night, which caused the California Highway Patrol to close the highway for nearly nine hours.
Lead 1: First, you need to start with what happened (the quake), not with the attribution (US Geological Survey). Second, you have a bigger problem here -- a fact error. Recheck your story against the fact sheet. (0/5 pending revision)
ReplyDeleteLead 2: Good, except don't use "caused" twice in one sentence. How about "forcing the California Highway Patrol ..."? (4.5/5)
Leads 1 was a two-parter; you missed doing Lead 2. See the Assignments page for the link.
Better! Lead 1 - 4/5
ReplyDeleteFix: a.m. not am; Calif. not CA